An excerpt from Dr. Burgess’s upcoming book on developmental psychology
…Normal humans pass through several cycles before reaching maturity. They begin as helpless, pathetic creatures incapable of doing much more than crying and producing foul substances. After a few months, they reach the stage at which they become suicidal. During this stage, unsupervised young humans will attempt to stick their fingers in electrical sockets, crawl into the middle of busy intersections, and swallow inedible objects. The parents of these young humans function essentially as “suicide watches.” Once capable of walking and talking, the young humans—now called “toddlers”—focus their destructive energies not on themselves but rather on the possessions and sanity of their parents…
Miscellaneous Inanities 
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