A 3-D Scene at the Park

In Response to the following prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_assignment/writing-101-day-nine/

a 3-part poem in blank verse

He hated letting Alma see him cry
But knew the tears would flow against his will.
Remaining silent, Alma squeezed his hand—
A gesture barely noticed by the man.
The aging woman knitting on the bench,
Who had reminded him of Mother, turned
Revealing features not a bit like Mom’s.
Then, suddenly, it dawned on him.
…The sweater, small and red, his mother had begun
To knit for John—the child in Alma’s womb!

She always felt uneasy when he cried.
It seemed attempts to comfort often failed.
Making matters worse, she didn’t know
Why Joe was crying when he had been fine.
Unsure of what to do, she squeezed his hand.

“Perhaps he misses his mother,” Alma thought,
On seeing the old lady on the bench
With yarn and knitting needles in her lap.

“Old Lady Knitting on the Bench”
“I knew I shoulda stayed at home to knit
And watch my stories ‘stead of comin’ here…
I got some cryin’ sissy-baby-man
A lookin’ like I’m sweet old Granny Smith
Who used to bake him pie and knit him scarves.
A granny? Please! I learned me long ago
That kids would send me early to my grave.
No siree…knittin nothin’ ‘cept for Chip
Who’d never send me to no nursin’ home.
He never sasses me, jus’ wags his tail.
Now, Sissy, carry’in on like a brat—
If kin to me, I’d go upside his head
To cure him of his cryin’, starin’ ways.”


22 thoughts on “A 3-D Scene at the Park

  1. mbarkersimpson

    What a lovely response to the prompt. I liked the voice of the old lady; her humour and strength of character shone through. I also enjoyed the way you showed so vividly three different perspectives to the same event. It’s not always easy to do – to have distinct voices when switching between characters. The poem fits the challenge really well.


    1. paulwhitberg Post author

      Thank you! This was the first time I tried this sort of piece. I’m glad you like the old lady; I think her part is the strongest. Did you try the challenge?


  2. karenumali

    Impressive! You’ve broken the barriers of standard gender characterizations: Joe is not the typical man hiding his emotions, Alma doesn’t depict the emotion-ridden woman who usually needs consoling by her man, Old Lady Knitting on the Bench, is not the weak-willed grandma who sugar coats the realities surrounding her! Joe resides in Venus, Alma in Mars and the Old Lady kicks ass on the hard ground called earth!


      1. mihrank

        Please enjoy my new musical clip by title “Like A Breeze”

        Here is a clip:


        Like the breeze gently unmatched.
        Like a flower bending in the breeze
        Bend with me, sway with ease
        When we dance you have a way with me
        Feeling like a feather in the breeze


      2. mihrank

        The Beautiful San Diego – Coronado Island – You are invited! I will forward my contact information to you. Kindly let me know your email address?


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