or “Thank our Lucky Stars”; from Part II of The New House of Fame by Paul “Whitberg” Burgess
By serving nations and society,
You’ll justify your fame (if not your birth).
You’ll teach the youth of safe sobriety
By driving drunk on alcoholic mirth–
Then paying fines with promised piety
and volunteering hours of boundless worth.
In ads, you’ll tell the children, “Stay in school!”
While proving that it pays to be a fool.