5 Limericks a Day [to Keep the Dr. Away] By Paul O’Burgess (Day 13)

“A Wife’s Warning”
“If you forget to water my plants,
You’ll discover some pins in your pants.
You won’t know when or where
‘til you sit in a chair
And regret not wat’ring my plants.”

“An Odd Duck”
There was once a man who would stare
At objects that really weren’t there.
He’d stare at his wife,
The love of his life—
A gal made of delusions and air.

“Fishboy”
A boy who resembled a fish
Was captured then served as a dish.
‘Twas a pity he died
Once salted and fried
By a lady who’d thought him a fish.

“Fisherboy”
A boy who resides near the brooks
Is having some trouble with hooks.
He should probably wait
‘til he masters the bait
Before he tries baiting more hooks.

“Cowboy”
There’s a lad with a cow for a pet
Who once asked, when his heart was upset,
“Oh, cow, what shall I do?
The cow’s answer was “Moo!”
He’s since “mooed’ at all people he’s met.

 

 

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5 Limericks a Day [to Keep the Dr. Away] By Paul O’Burgess (Day 11)

Although no one reads them, I must continue to post limericks until the 200+ that I have written are all on my blog:D Coming soon: a series on writing poetic forms. The series will begin with a guide to writing limericks:) [To adapt a phrase from the great blues artist John Lee Hooker, “Let that boy write his limericks, ‘cuz he’s got it in him, and he’s gotta get it out.”]

“Lonely, Single, and Sad”

There was once a graying old guy
Who decided to give love a try.
So, he posted an ad
That said “Lonely and sad,”
But no ladies would ever reply.

“Slick Dick”

I read once to gain more insight
About Nixon’s account of that night.
The words in that book
Say the man’s not a crook,
And clearly a book’s always right.

“Swiss Kiss”

There’s a girl from the land of the Swiss
Who attempted to give me a kiss.
But the size of her lips,
Is as vast a ship’s,
So, I politely declined the girl’s kiss.

“Who Pays for Praise?”

Those who’ve read the limericks I write
Have experienced deepest delight.
That’s what they all say,
Perhaps ‘cause I pay
Those people to praise what I write.

“A True Story”

I’ve started to write me a blog
To be cherished by human and dog.
The people will clap,
And the canines will yap
With glee when perusing my blog.