“Cardinal”

Your chirping’s like a dying smoke alarm,
Your rapid calls a firing laser gun,
Yet neither threatens listeners with harm
Or gives them any cause to flee or run.

–Paul Burgess

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“Killing Two Birds”

I love birds and find killing them with stones to be barbaric. Nevertheless, I am not opposed to the figurative killing of two birds with one stone. Here are two “bird” limericks I wrote during the earliest days of my blog:

“An Aspiring Cardinal”
A man whose behavior’s absurd
Insists he’s becoming a bird.
“In Rome, by the sea,
A card’nal I’ll be”
Says that man whose behavior’s absurd.

https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/05/22/5-limericks-a-day-to-keep-the-dr-away-by-paul-oburgess-day-8/

“Sex Ed?”
There was a young person from Cork
Who wanted a child from the stork.
In the eyes of that bird,
It seemed quite absurd
To be wooed by that person from Cork.

https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/05/17/5-limericks-a-day-to-keep-the-dr-away-day-3/

Now that I am picking up more readers, I am inclined to share some of the earliest posts from the days when I was writing for a few family members and acquaintances. I hope you all will not mind:)

5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 8]

“An Aspiring Cardinal”
A man whose behavior’s absurd
Insists he’s becoming a bird.
“In Rome, by the sea,
A card’nal I’ll be”
Says that man whose behavior’s absurd.

“Mr. ________, Teacher of Middle School English”
There was once a man whose career
Induced him to drink lots of beer.
Whenever he’d teach,
There were bottles in reach
To help him endure his career.

“Tithonus of Dell”
There was an old miser from Dell
Whose age no person could tell.
He was freakishly old
And all covered with mold
And was better to see than to smell.

“A Boring, Moral, and Clean Limerick”

There was once a man who enjoyed
To do what most others avoid.
To repay what he’d owe
And be kind to a foe
Were some things that this person enjoyed.

“A Less Boring, Moral, and Clean Limerick–About a Beaver [Castor]“

I saw once a beaver so big
It could swallow the whole of a pig.
It knew lots of tricks
With berries and sticks.
What a sight was that beaver so big!