“Elaine and the Kangaroo” a “brats” poem by Paul Burgess

While visiting the London Zoo,
Elaine harassed a kangaroo.
When ‘Lainey tried its nose to pick,
The ‘roo unleased a lethal kick.

“Ermine Elle”

“Ermine Elle” [a “brats” poem by Paul Burgess]

While wearing Mother’s ermine coat,
Elle looked exactly like a stoat.
Believing she was surely one,
A hunter went to get his gun.

“A Compulsive Scratcher”–a Children’s Poem by Paul Burgess (from 2006)

I know I’ll only make it bleed and scar,
But still I pick and scrape and scratch it raw.
I’ll keep on clawing ‘til I reach the bone.
So hard it is to leave an itch alone.

My fingers have become ten useless nubs.
Alas, those sorry digits did erode;
But such ill luck my progress scarcely slows
Because upon my feet are healthy toes.

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5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 6]

I have decided that today’s limericks will be for people with children. Every once in a while, I will unify the five daily limericks with a theme. Some days the limericks will be best for the bar or bedroom, and other days they will be best for the nursery. Today’s are fine for the nursery;)

“The Cat as a Hat”

There was once a man with a cat
That he’d put on his head like a hat.
The kitten did hate
Being worn on his pate
And thought it was time for a chat.

“Of Birds and Boys”

A boy, who would cease not to squirm,
Resembled so closely a worm
That a robin one day
Mistook for its prey
That boy who would cease not to squirm.

“Of Birds and Men”

There was an old man I once knew
Who flapped both his arms ‘til he flew.
The last that I heard,
He had married a bird
And purchased a nest built for two.

“Swamp King”

A king who was weary of pomp
Decided to move to a swamp.
There lived he as boss
Of mosquitoes and moss
While enjoying the absence of pomp.

“Who’s Yo’ Daddy?”

There was once a boy from Baghdad
Who thought that a hare was his dad.
He’d say, “Hey there, Pop!”
But away it would hop,
And the boy would remain there so sad.