“Translating Babies”
A Pessimistic Translator:
When babies are born they will cry
A wail that I’d translate as “Why?”
“Oh, why am I here?
And where is a spear
To help me ensure that I die?”
An Optimistic Translator:
When babies are born they will smile
A grin that I’d translated as, “While…
“[While] my parents both toil,
I’m anointed with oil
And relaxing in comfort and style.”
“Ready for Children?”
Ready for a child?
If you think you’re prepared for a child,
Your mind has perhaps been beguiled.
In details exact,
Recall how you’d act
When driving your parents quite wild.
Ready for a kid?
You think you’re prepared for a kid,
But under your memory’s lid
Are tantrums you threw
As a terrible two
And the adolescent evil you did.
“A Husband Avoids Chores”
My reply when a man once did ask
To imbibe a few drops from my flask
Was, “There’s nothing to drink,
But the wife will now think
I’m too drunk to perform any task.
A special, thematic edition of *5 Limericks a Day [To Keep the Dr. Away]*
Miscellaneous Inanities 