Further advice for surviving in the world of Classical Mythology, by Paul Burgess
If you’d prefer to not become a bear,
Do not let Jove remove your underwear.
[Callisto’s “crime” was having a child after being raped by Jove. For this crime, Hera turned the girl into a bear. A moral we see throughout the classics is: Do not let one of the Universe’s most powerful entities rape you…]
Further advice for surviving in the world of Classical Mythology, by Paul Burgess
If Zeus decides it’s you he’d like to woo,
In time, you might be saying only “Moo.”*
*Zeus/Jove turned his love interest Io into a cow to hide her from his wife.
To guarantee* a long and happy life,
Avoid the wrath of Jove’s* vindictive wife.
*While not exactly guaranteed, long lives were more likely to be enjoyed by those who did not provoke the wrath of Hera.
*For whatever reason, Jove/Jupiter is best known by his Greek name “Zeus”.
[These epigrams might eventually add up to a survival guide for those trapped in the world of classical mythology].
P.S. While not the original source for most of these myths, Ovid’s Metamorphoses–my favorite work of poetry–is a fantastic read for those interested in the classics. I especially like Horace Gregory’s translation.
Miscellaneous Inanities 