“Fame in Marriage”

Part I: Stanza 6 of “The New House of Fame”
Perhaps the surest way to find the House—
Aside from being born behind its doors—
Is to become a famous person’s spouse.
Your fans will multiply like fertile spores
If you become a star’s domestic louse
Or follow him or her on promo tours.
You’ll be the House’s queen or king
By virtue of your royal wedding ring.

The stanza is likely more enjoyable in its original context:

https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/an-introductory-guide-to-becoming-rich-and-famous-2/

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“Hugh Hefner Writes to Kate Middleton”

“The press has shown your rear and chest.
To make some money, show the rest.
It’s what a royal gal should do.
Forever yours. Sincerely, Hugh.”

 

Another classy masterpiece of alternative history from Paul Burgess

“Kate Middleton’s Bare Behind” by Paul Burgess

https://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/kate-middletons-bare-butt-exposed-marilyn-monroe-moment-144606744-us-weekly.html

A poem in response to the article above:

So, now we’ve seen your bare behind

and found that it’s of the same kind

as any other British ass.

Why all the fuss, my royal lass?

“Kate Middleton”–an 11th Clerihew by Paul Burgess

“Kate Middleton”
Irrelevant Miss Duchess Kate
Arrived a couple cent’ries late.
Her only duty, she’d confess,
Is occupying England’s press.