Letter to North West

Dear North (of Kim and Kanye West),

When feeding, bite your mother’s breast

For giving you the sort of name

That fills one’s life with tears and shame.

a clerihew by Paul “Whitberg” Burgess

Celebrity Baby Names

“A Famous Name”–from Pt II of The New House of Fame by Paul “Whitberg” Burgess:

https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/an-introductory-guide-to-becoming-rich-and-famous-2/

On normal, trite, and boring children’s names
The House has lately passed a legal ban.
You must not have a Jill, a John, or James
But rather Grapes, The South, or Wat’ring Can.
I might suggest a Lens or maybe Frames–
Or Pressure Pot, The Wok, or Frying Pan.
Your children’s lives will be a lot more fun
With names like Arrow, Knife, and Laser Gun.

 

Advertisement

“Justin Bieber’s PR Rep Explains”

…[in rhyming iambic tetrameter (as all good PR reps tend to do…]
https://uk.celebrity.yahoo.com/gossip/omg/justin-bieber-racist-video–even-more-shocking-footage-released-074732914.html

Delirious from scarlet fev-er,
My client, Mister Justin Bieb-er,
Recorded clips one tragic day
About him joining triple K—
Canadian for “Kylie, Kim,
And Kourtney”—all admired by him.
His words have been quite misconstrued,
And his defamers will be sued.

“Kim Kardashian”

A clerihew in iambic tetrameter by Paul Burgess

Revered and Noble Kimberly K
Ensures reporters earn their pay
By sharing vital breaking news
About her food and how she chews.