“Celebrating Criminals”

“Another Path to the House of Fame” [from The New House of Fame–by Paul “Whitberg” Burgess]

A risky *path that’s hard to recommend
Is being known as one who coldly kills.
Infamy’s said to be a loyal friend
To stardom-seekers lacking wealth and skills.
Since murderers are found at ev’ry bend,
You’ll need a crime where blood profusely spills.
The surest way to drive reporters wild
Is murdering a precious little child.

*While scandalous trials make one famous, the book deals and interviews benefit only those who are exonerated.

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“Law and Order”

A lawyer, on losing a case,
was angry at man as a race.
He decided to sue
All the people he knew
And again had a smile on his face.

A lawyer I met at the zoo
Was bored and suggested we sue.
He said, “Lions are lame,
And the tigers are tame.
I’d prefer some money from you.”

There was once a lawyer so kind
That he’d sue all the men who were blind.
“You have not the right
To be lacking your sight,”
Were the words of that lawyer so kind.

2 new limericks by Paul Burgess and a 3rd written for his first ever post [https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/5-limericks-a-day-to-keep-the-dr-away-day-1-2/