“Absurd’s the Word”

                       

There’s a person whose greatest of joys
Is attempting whatever annoys.
Like a horse, he will neigh*
And oppose all you say
While he’s boasting of days he destroys.

*a pun, of course, on “nay”.

A drunkard’s devising a plan
To ingest all the beer that he can.
On the river he’ll float
Without using a boat,
For he’ll soon be so buoyant a man.

There was an old man on a plane
Whose behavior was wholly insane.
He removed all his clothes
And then sucked on his toes.
‘Til the pilot had landed in Spain.

A man who enjoyed a good laugh
Decided to buy a giraffe.
When struck by its tongue,
He punctured a lung
And found it more painful to laugh.

There was once a grumpy old owl
Who regarded all men with a scowl
To describe her in words,
It was said by some birds
She “was foul as the foulest of fowl*.”

*chicken-like bird; owls are not considered fowl

5 limericks by Paul Burgess

 

 

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“Taylor Swift”

Vindictive Missus Taylor Swift
Provided her career a lift
With spiteful songs about the guys
Who’d spent some time between her thighs.

a clerihew by Paul Burgess

…“Pills” gave me chills, so for a lift…a bit of “Taylor Swift”

5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 7]

At Home in Nature

There was once a person so broke
That he had to reside in an oak.
He wanted some girls
But settled for squirrels
Who’d not mind a man being so broke.

French Style

There was once an old woman from France
Who delighted in wearing no pants.
I have never yet guessed
Why she covered the rest…
…that eccentric old woman from France.

A Pious Young Boy

I knew once a boy so bizarre
That his body he’d feather and tar.
Himself he did scorn
For having been born
Once discovered he what sinners we are.

A Loan Never Repaid

A man asked me to lend him an ear.
I said, “Yes,” and then bought him a beer.
But he’d give it not back,
So an ear I now lack,
And I find it much harder to hear.

An Inspiring Political Speech

A man to be gov’ner aspired
Who delivered these words that inspired:
“If for me you don’t vote,
I’ll cut your mom’s throat.”
So, I gave him the vote he desired.