Asking for a Raise

$ 🙂 ? $ 😦

Since my boss had been giving me praise,
I decided to ask for a raise.
She said, “Don’t be absurd!
I’ve meant not a word.
Your position will pay what it pays.”

a limerick by Paul Burgess

“Disease: a Villanelle” by Paul Burgess

This is the first villanelle I have attempted since 2006–the year in which I began an 8 year break from writing poetry. I am not sure if it is any good, but I am certain that it is a villanelle:)

Although his thoughts would make a person freeze,
He often rants about the Justice scales.
…he’s not alone in having this disease.

He’s known to translate “smoke” as “foggy breeze”—
To choose the proper phrase he rarely fails,
Although his thoughts could make a person freeze.

A flashing dollar sign is all he sees
When shown his admen’s stylish faerie tales
He’s not alone in having this disease.

His corporation gives to charities
A nominal percentage of its sales,
Although his thoughts could make a person freeze.

The people whose support’s obtained with ease
By one who speaks of Christ, the Cross, and nails
Are not alone in having this disease.

Though spending Sundays praying on his knees,
His acts would land some poorer men in jails.
This gloomy thought could make a person freeze:
He’s not alone in having this disease.

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5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 7]

At Home in Nature

There was once a person so broke
That he had to reside in an oak.
He wanted some girls
But settled for squirrels
Who’d not mind a man being so broke.

French Style

There was once an old woman from France
Who delighted in wearing no pants.
I have never yet guessed
Why she covered the rest…
…that eccentric old woman from France.

A Pious Young Boy

I knew once a boy so bizarre
That his body he’d feather and tar.
Himself he did scorn
For having been born
Once discovered he what sinners we are.

A Loan Never Repaid

A man asked me to lend him an ear.
I said, “Yes,” and then bought him a beer.
But he’d give it not back,
So an ear I now lack,
And I find it much harder to hear.

An Inspiring Political Speech

A man to be gov’ner aspired
Who delivered these words that inspired:
“If for me you don’t vote,
I’ll cut your mom’s throat.”
So, I gave him the vote he desired.

“Mother Goose”–a 2nd Clerihew by Paul Burgess

[The 1st in a series of clerihews and clerihew-inspired quatrains about figures from nursery rhymes, folk tales, legends, and myths. I will call these poems “clerihew-inspired quatrains” when no lines end with the subject’s name.]

“Mother Goose”

Though kindly looked Old Mother Goose,
Her morals were extremely loose.
She robbed some banks and used the cash
To build upon her cocaine stash.

“Deer Money”

A conversation quickly makes it clear
That venison’s the meat that’s held most dear.
All people seem to talk about or know
Is how to hunt some bucks or get some doe.

an epigram by Paul Burgess