“Eeny Meeny Miny Mo”–a “brats” poem by Paul Burgess

There’s never been a boy as slow
As Eeny Meeny Miny Mo.
He caught a tiger by its toe.
His wake’s at five. I hope you’ll go.

“Little Bo Peep” and “The Wife of Bath”–2 Clerihews by Paul Burgess

“Little Bo Peep”
Neglectful Little Miss Bo Peep
So poorly tends her flock of sheep
That Earth and Heaven now forbid
Her being mother to a kid.

“The Wife of Bath”
Chaucer’s loving Wife of Bath
Began to learn the art of math
To help her better keep the count
Of men who she’d been known to mount.

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5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 6]

I have decided that today’s limericks will be for people with children. Every once in a while, I will unify the five daily limericks with a theme. Some days the limericks will be best for the bar or bedroom, and other days they will be best for the nursery. Today’s are fine for the nursery;)

“The Cat as a Hat”

There was once a man with a cat
That he’d put on his head like a hat.
The kitten did hate
Being worn on his pate
And thought it was time for a chat.

“Of Birds and Boys”

A boy, who would cease not to squirm,
Resembled so closely a worm
That a robin one day
Mistook for its prey
That boy who would cease not to squirm.

“Of Birds and Men”

There was an old man I once knew
Who flapped both his arms ‘til he flew.
The last that I heard,
He had married a bird
And purchased a nest built for two.

“Swamp King”

A king who was weary of pomp
Decided to move to a swamp.
There lived he as boss
Of mosquitoes and moss
While enjoying the absence of pomp.

“Who’s Yo’ Daddy?”

There was once a boy from Baghdad
Who thought that a hare was his dad.
He’d say, “Hey there, Pop!”
But away it would hop,
And the boy would remain there so sad.

“Old King Cole”–a 4th Clerihew-inspired Quatrain by Paul Burgess

“Old King Cole”

King Cole, monarch of merry soul,
Consumed a duck and chicken whole.
When Cole had him a heart attack,
He found his doctor was a quack.

“Old McDonald”–a 3rd Clerihew-inspired quatrain by Paul Burgess

“Old McDonald”

On Old McDonald’s cattle farm
There was no anti-theft alarm
Ensuring that he’d be awake
When thieves did all his cattle take.

“Mother Goose”–a 2nd Clerihew by Paul Burgess

[The 1st in a series of clerihews and clerihew-inspired quatrains about figures from nursery rhymes, folk tales, legends, and myths. I will call these poems “clerihew-inspired quatrains” when no lines end with the subject’s name.]

“Mother Goose”

Though kindly looked Old Mother Goose,
Her morals were extremely loose.
She robbed some banks and used the cash
To build upon her cocaine stash.