5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 7]

At Home in Nature

There was once a person so broke
That he had to reside in an oak.
He wanted some girls
But settled for squirrels
Who’d not mind a man being so broke.

French Style

There was once an old woman from France
Who delighted in wearing no pants.
I have never yet guessed
Why she covered the rest…
…that eccentric old woman from France.

A Pious Young Boy

I knew once a boy so bizarre
That his body he’d feather and tar.
Himself he did scorn
For having been born
Once discovered he what sinners we are.

A Loan Never Repaid

A man asked me to lend him an ear.
I said, “Yes,” and then bought him a beer.
But he’d give it not back,
So an ear I now lack,
And I find it much harder to hear.

An Inspiring Political Speech

A man to be gov’ner aspired
Who delivered these words that inspired:
“If for me you don’t vote,
I’ll cut your mom’s throat.”
So, I gave him the vote he desired.

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5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 5]

“A Cruel Rejection”
I met a young girl at a dance
Who asked, “Can I get in your pants?”
But I knew they’d not fit
And she’d cause them to split,
So I said, “Oh, my dear, not a chance!”

“Unconventional Swimming Facilities”
I met once a kooky old fool
Who believed his toilet a pool.
If you ever meet him,
And he asks you to swim,
I’d advise you escape that old fool.

“Miguel the Masochist”
A man who’s residing in Spain,
Is becoming addicted to pain.
He has chains and some whips,
And he likes for his hips
To be thoroughly thrashed with a cane.

“An Innocent Limerick about Birdwatching [I had no part in naming birds!]”
In the place where he presently sits,
A boy sees him plenty of tits.
Near his seat on those rocks,
Are both boobies and cocks
And more birds that approach where he sits.

“A Prolific Man”
There once was an old man from Peru
Who had many more kids than he knew.
Some say he had four
But ‘twas likely a score…
…that prolific old man from Peru!