There was once a lawyer so kind
That he’d sue all the men who were blind.
“You have not the right
To be lacking your sight,”
Were the words of that lawyer so kind.
The people from a nation of note
Elected to office a goat.
“He’s not nearly as bad
As the humans we’ve had,”
Said those who for that creature did vote.
A man who to London once came
Insisted his tiger was tame.
When a swipe of its paw
Destroyed the man’s jaw,
Was the tiger really to blame?
There was once a priest so divine
Who gave me some bread and some wine.
When fell I asleep,
He attempted to peep
At my grapes and to handle my vine.
I met the philosopher Hume
And battered his head with a broom.
When he begged to know why,
I would only reply,
“To name causes I’d best not presume.”