To guarantee* a long and happy life,
Avoid the wrath of Jove’s* vindictive wife.
*While not exactly guaranteed, long lives were more likely to be enjoyed by those who did not provoke the wrath of Hera.
*For whatever reason, Jove/Jupiter is best known by his Greek name “Zeus”.
[These epigrams might eventually add up to a survival guide for those trapped in the world of classical mythology].
P.S. While not the original source for most of these myths, Ovid’s Metamorphoses–my favorite work of poetry–is a fantastic read for those interested in the classics. I especially like Horace Gregory’s translation.