Tag Archives: sadness

“All the lonely people…where do they all come from?”

“Single, White Male”

There was once a graying old guy
Who decided to give love a try.
So, he posted an ad
That said “Lonely and sad,”
But no ladies would ever reply.

(The limerick above also appears here: https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/5-limericks-a-day-to-keep-the-dr-away-by-paul-oburgess/)

“Raise your glasses to Teacher!”

There was once a man whose career
Induced him to drink lots of beer.
Whenever he’d teach,
There were bottles in reach
To help him endure his career.

“Drunk as a Monk”

There was once a lonely old monk
Who deep in depression had sunk.
“My time I’ll not waste
On being so chaste,”
He said once when exceedingly drunk.

“Life Stinks!”

There was once an old man who was French.
He disgusted his friends with his stench.
They avoided that bloke,
Who was making them choke,
When they saw him reclined on a bench.

“A Tailor-made Man”

A man was once full of despair
Because for him no one did care.
So he bought some new clothes
And then started to pose
As a man for whom others would care.

5 limericks by Paul Burgess

5 Limericks a Day (To Keep the Dr. Away)–By Paul O’Burgess [Day 6]

I have decided that today’s limericks will be for people with children. Every once in a while, I will unify the five daily limericks with a theme. Some days the limericks will be best for the bar or bedroom, and other days they will be best for the nursery. Today’s are fine for the nursery;)

“The Cat as a Hat”

There was once a man with a cat
That he’d put on his head like a hat.
The kitten did hate
Being worn on his pate
And thought it was time for a chat.

“Of Birds and Boys”

A boy, who would cease not to squirm,
Resembled so closely a worm
That a robin one day
Mistook for its prey
That boy who would cease not to squirm.

“Of Birds and Men”

There was an old man I once knew
Who flapped both his arms ‘til he flew.
The last that I heard,
He had married a bird
And purchased a nest built for two.

“Swamp King”

A king who was weary of pomp
Decided to move to a swamp.
There lived he as boss
Of mosquitoes and moss
While enjoying the absence of pomp.

“Who’s Yo’ Daddy?”

There was once a boy from Baghdad
Who thought that a hare was his dad.
He’d say, “Hey there, Pop!”
But away it would hop,
And the boy would remain there so sad.