“Law and Order”

A lawyer, on losing a case,
was angry at man as a race.
He decided to sue
All the people he knew
And again had a smile on his face.

A lawyer I met at the zoo
Was bored and suggested we sue.
He said, “Lions are lame,
And the tigers are tame.
I’d prefer some money from you.”

There was once a lawyer so kind
That he’d sue all the men who were blind.
“You have not the right
To be lacking your sight,”
Were the words of that lawyer so kind.

2 new limericks by Paul Burgess and a 3rd written for his first ever post [https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/5-limericks-a-day-to-keep-the-dr-away-day-1-2/

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“Going Viral” a short story by Paul Burgess

My first shot at writing prose fiction! [In response to prompts found here:  http://boundariesandedges.wordpress.com/2014/05/26/try-this-the-alphabet-exercise/

http://mbarkersimpson.wordpress.com/2014/05/26/try-this-the-alphabet-exercise/

“Going Viral” A Short Story by Paul Burgess
After a few months, he would laugh nervously about that day’s events.
But, when people mentioned the incident, he continued to feel a mixture of shame and anger.
“Could they stop bringing it up?”
“Did they have to videotape it?”
Events like this used to entertain him when he saw them on the internet.
Facebook and YouTube, however, had now become his enemies.

Going back to school terrified him.
How would he endure the merciless teasing of classmates who’d had an entire summer to hone their jokes about him?
If only his family would not have posted the video all over the internet…
Just thinking about his parents made him alternate between gritting his teeth and clutching his stomach.
“Killing them might be justifiable,” said a half-serious voice no one else heard.
“Let go of that thought,” a wiser voice advised.

Monkeys continued to haunt his dreams.
No night seemed to pass without those hairy hands caressing his cheeks.
Orangutans watched with gazes expressing amused approval.
“Primates, why do you torment me?”
Quinton often woke to find himself panting while repeating that phrase.

“Rape” would be too strong a word to describe what he’d endured…
To get a good picture, Quinton held his phone with one hand that he pushed between the cage’s bars.
Using his phone’s high-resolution camera, he captured dozens of excellent photos.
“Vern, are you filming this?” his mom asked his dad.
What happened next, when Quinton tried to pull his arm back through the bars, gave him the shock of his young life.
Xavier, the monkey, grabbed his arm, pulled him close, stared deeply into his eyes, and then—before releasing him—kissed his lips for what seemed like ages.
“YouTube will love this!” exclaimed his dad.
“Zoo Trip, featuring Quinton Craig” went viral.