“A Famous Name”–from Pt II of The New House of Fame by Paul “Whitberg” Burgess:
https://paulwhitberg.wordpress.com/2014/06/24/an-introductory-guide-to-becoming-rich-and-famous-2/
On normal, trite, and boring children’s names
The House has lately passed a legal ban.
You must not have a Jill, a John, or James
But rather Grapes, The South, or Wat’ring Can.
I might suggest a Lens or maybe Frames–
Or Pressure Pot, The Wok, or Frying Pan.
Your children’s lives will be a lot more fun
With names like Arrow, Knife, and Laser Gun.
Miscellaneous Inanities 
Lol…this is so sad, but true.
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Lol. Grapes was inspired by Paltrow’s child Apple…
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